All this talk of H1N1 deadliness has obscured one important at-risk demographic. They’re not children. They’re not pregnant women. And no, they’re not the elderly.
Ye, they be mall Santas.
Many of the nation’s Santas want to be given priority for the vaccine and not just because of those runny-nosed kids. There’s also the not-so-little matter of that round belly. Research has suggested obesity could be a risk factor.
Swine flu has become such a concern that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas featured a seminar on the illness at a recent conference in Philadelphia. The group also urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems.
The president of the organization said he also hopes parents will keep sick kids away.
“We don’t want any child to go without seeing Santa, but it’s not worth bringing your child to the mall, infecting the Santa and infecting the other children,” Nicholas Trolli said. [AP]
God forbid the children be deprived of their inalienable right to sit on a strange man’s lap and gab about the new Grand Theft Auto game, lest the terrorists win. So in order to fight the al-Qaeda-designed H1N1, do your local Santa a favor and buy him some Purell.




