Swine-proof Santas Prepare for Holiday Onslaught

All this talk of H1N1 deadliness has obscured one important at-risk demographic. They’re not children. They’re not pregnant women. And no, they’re not the elderly.

Ye, they be mall Santas.

Many of the nation’s Santas want to be given priority for the vaccine and not just because of those runny-nosed kids. There’s also the not-so-little matter of that round belly. Research has suggested obesity could be a risk factor.

Swine flu has become such a concern that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas featured a seminar on the illness at a recent conference in Philadelphia. The group also urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems.

The president of the organization said he also hopes parents will keep sick kids away.

“We don’t want any child to go without seeing Santa, but it’s not worth bringing your child to the mall, infecting the Santa and infecting the other children,” Nicholas Trolli said. [AP]

God forbid the children be deprived of their inalienable right to sit on a strange man’s lap and gab about the new Grand Theft Auto game, lest the terrorists win. So in order to fight the al-Qaeda-designed H1N1, do your local Santa a favor and buy him some Purell.


Bad Food Not To Blame In Prison Riot

Remember that Northpoint prison riot back in August that was supposedly caused by bad prison-food? And how people were talking about those damn inmates and how nicely they’re treated? A new report released by the Department of Corrections says that rationale is bullshit, for that matter, and that measures taken by the warden played a much larger role.

From The C-J:

FRANKFORT, Ky. – Inmates at Northpoint Training Center rioted in August because the warden had put the prison on lockdown four days earlier and implemented a new schedule that restricted inmates’ time in the yard, recreation areas and library, according to a report released today by the Department of Corrections.

Staff and inmates told investigators that the quality of food was not a primary factor, the report states…

Doors in dormitories were fireproof but too weak to stop inmates from gaining access to the prison yard. The yard didn’t have interior fencing to prevent inmates from accessing security-sensitive areas and a lack of a comprehensive surveillance system made it difficult for staff to monitor and control them.

But hey, once they’re in the system, felons are kind of dead to this state anyways, so an underfunded and riotous prison is just par for the Commonwealth’s course. Happy Thanksgiving!


No country for old Meloche

Yes friends, it appears as though your favorite alleged cat torturer, Dr. Gilles Meloche, will not be getting a new job in Florida after all. The former Louisville Metro Animal Services director has been turned down by Brevard County’s animal services, which WLKY’s Andy Alcock reports in hilarious fashion:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Metro Animal Services embattled director’s attempt to rocket on a new career path in the home of the Kennedy Space Center has fizzled. 

Dr. Gilles Meloche had applied for a similar position in Brevard County, Fla., and was one of five finalists. 

However, Brevard County Manager Howard Tipton chose an applicant from California to fill the job.


St. X-Men blast Jim King

The mayoral campaign for Metro Councilman Jim King, D-10, is in hot water with St. X High School after sending an unauthorized e-mail using the school’s alumni association logo that went out to an unknown number of former students.

The e-mail promotion sent out late yesterday afternoon attaches King’s biography as the “Son of St. X and our next mayor,” and invites recipients to a special fundraiser. King graduated from the historic private Catholic school in 1969.

St. X officials received several complaints this morning from alumni.

“We’ve been around 145 years and have had our share of alumni run for political office. This is very unfortunate and it was not authorized or approved,” says Michael Littel, a St. X spokesman.

Littel tells LEO Weekly he doesn’t know how the King campaign obtained the e-mail addresses of St. X alumni, but the school is investigating the matter.  St. X President Perry E. Sangalli has tried to reach the King campaign, but hasn’t received a response, Littel says.

“That we would sell an address list or e-mail list without the permission of our constituents … we would never do that,” Littel says. “We highly value and protect that information. We’re investigating how that occurred.”

The King campaign was unavailable for comment.

Early this morning, after receiving complaints, the school’s alumni association responded, sending an e-mail notice that scolded the King campaign for fastening the X logo to campaign materials.

From the St. X Alumni:

“You may have received an email from jimkingformayor.com regarding a fundraising event which APPEARED to be authorized or sent by Saint Xavier High School and/or its Alumni Association.

Neither Saint Xavier High School nor its Alumni Association authorized the use of its logo or individual alumni email addresses, nor were they provided to Mr. King.

On behalf of the Alumni Association, we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.  We have communicated with Mr. King our surprise and great displeasure, and requested that he cease usage of the Saint Xavier logo and the illusion that these events are approved and sponsored by Saint Xavier High School.”

Read More »


A River Runs Through it

Last week’s LEO cover story sparked something of a controversy, wherein preservationist group River Fields allegedly stole a bunch of copies of the notorious article-containing issue so that people wouldn’t read it. (Be sure to check out River Field’s full page ad in this week’s edition, if you’re into laughing at silly things) Here’s a recap of the snafu courtesy of WHAS11’s Chase Cain.


Public Option Lives!?

Attention naysayers: Senate Democrats have unveiled a health care reform bill, dubbed The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, which will expand coverage to the 31 million uninsured, reduce the deficit and make unicorns a reality. Essentially written by that socialist albatross, Harry Reid, D-NV, the details of the senate bill so far portray a document that appears to make good on most of the promises made by then-candidate Barack Obama re: substantial health care reform– specifically the inclusion of a public health option.

To see the differences between the House and Senate versions of the bill (most notably the “easing” of the Stupak Amendment), click here. To view the entirety of the bill in all of its PDF glory, click here. To write a letter to David WIlliams imploring him to not be a douchebag by forcing Kentucky to opt-out of a public insurance option, click here as hard as you can.

A floor debate is scheduled for Saturday, so be sure to watch C-SPAN as Mitch McConnell embarrasses himself and the Commonwealth yet again.


Stupak is as Stupak does…

In this week’s LEO, reporter Farrah Johnson journeyed to Louisville’s only abortion clinic to observe the ongoing battle over a woman’s right to choose. Here’s an excerpt:

Although the scene outside the surgical center in Louisville is typically rowdy, the clash between activists on the front lines has intensified recently given the current political fight over a woman’s right to choose. On Nov. 7, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a massive health care reform bill, which included an amendment that’s considered a major blow to abortion rights. Dubbed the Stupak Amendment after its lead sponsor, Democrat Bart Stupak of Michigan, the measure precludes the proposed public health care option, as well as any policy purchased with federal subsidies, from covering abortions.

Now, a report conducted by George Washington University has examined the long-term consequences of the Stupak/Pitts amendment, and the outlook isn’t pretty.

The report concludes that “the treatment exclusions required under the Stupak/Pitts Amendment will have an industry-wide effect, eliminating coverage of medically indicated abortions over time for all women, not only those whose coverage is derived through a health insurance exchange.”

In other words, though the immediate impact of the Stupak amendment will be limited to the millions of women initially insured through a new insurance exchange, over time, as the exchanges grow, the insurance industry will scale down their abortion coverage options until they offer none at all. [TalkingPointsMemo]

Gross. Read the rest here.


Butchertown, JBS Swift & Beyond

Since that much ballyhooed “confrontation” between Louisville Metro’s Board of Zoning Adjustments and JBS/Swift never happened (Sorry, Chase Cain), and the facts themselves have become a tad bit convoluted, here’s a link to BrokenSidewalk.com, which has been covering the ongoing struggle between the Butchertown neighborhood and their stinkiest resident better than any other local media.

Although the article leaves out consideration for the 1,300 workers currently employed at the Story Avenue slaughterhouse — and where/how to relocate those jobs if/when JBS moves out of the neighborhood — Sidewalk’s Branden Klayko offers the best account of the contentious issue around. Here’s an excerpt:

This ordeal between JBS Swift and Butchertown has certainly been sensationalized in the media and in real life, but hopefully as it moves forward, the true significance of relocating a slaughterhouse from Louisville’s urban core will become apparent.  It’s not helpful for the company to pit its workers against the neighborhood or use them as shields against enforcement.  Tacky arguments about butchers in Butchertown must be revealed for what they are.  Political rhetoric about moving the plant has been going on for over a decade but the time for real leadership is upon us.


Abramson Goes Ivy League

Starting today, and for two days only, Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson will be educating some of America’s newly elected mayors on the finer points of municipal management at Harvard Community & Technical College University. Because of his renown as “Mayor for Life” in these parts, Abramson — himself a former president of the U.S. Conference of Mayors — is uniquely poised to offer advice and enlightenment to fledgling mayors from Seattle, Miami, Nashville and Boston (among others). 

From Business First:

(Abramson) will speak to the mayors-elect about topics such as transitioning from a campaign to the mayor’s role, how to manage a city during the economic downturn and how to balance a rigorous schedule with family life, according to a news release…

“I am honored to be able to share my experience with these new leaders who will be facing some of the same challenges I have faced over the years,” Abramson said in the release. “I hope I can offer some advice to help ease their transition.”

Topics we are sure they will not cover include hiring nincompoops to direct major public agencies, out-maneuvering city council to forge sweetheart business deals and the fine art of ribbon cutting.


Courier-Journal Shamelessly Promotes LEO

In what can only be the work of a dastardly, malfunctioning algorithm lurking about The Courier-Journal’s search indexing software, their website now includes results that direct you to their heathen rivals —  us! We are now so validated in our existence that we must dance:

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