… We can insinuate it, can we not, by passing along this fancy chart depicting Utah’s massive online hardcore pornography addiction? Proving once again that (1) there is a God, and (2) God loves people who love porn, the nation’s reddest state in the nation is also the most horny.
While this would be an excellent opportunity to make some easy Mormon jokes, let’s instead reflect upon it as an example of the human species’ predilection for cognitive dissonance: Of course it only makes sense that the target audience of “Anal Lords 7″ and Milfhunter.com also favors teaching intelligent design in our schools, putting the 10 Commandments in our courthouses, and electing John McCain president. Also: jokes about how this could stimulate the economy should be made in the comments section.
So welcome, Utah, to the thrills of the secular flesh! On your left: fornicating cows!
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Let’s get this party started:
A new provision introduced by the state legislature will attach state-of-the-art kinetic energy-generators to the wrists of the Beehive State’s most chronic masturbators, which is projected to generate 18% of Utah’s total energy requirements by 2012.
Asked whether this conflicted with the conservative values often imposed on the law by the Republican-dominated Utah legislature, Speaker of the House David Clark demurred.
“I mean, we’re in the hole here,” Clark said, referring to the state’s revenue shortfall. “It’s like that finger-in-the-dike scenario: If you pull out, you’re in for a rush of bad news.”