New From Mattel: Julep-Soaked Barbie!

The C-J is absolutely gushing over this latest plastic monstrosity engineered by the Chinese to shore up American consumer spending. Why, who couldn’t resist the unholy offspring of Churchill Downs and the flailing toy manufacturer?  Despite the fact that Mattel’s shares have fallen, their executives receive exorbitant bonuses (just like everyone else these days), and their recently unleashed House of Barbie in Shanghai is foretold in the Third Revelation — I mean, would you just look at those fucking pumps!?!

From the horse’s mouth:

Who is that Derby-perfect bombshell in a flowery frock, stunning hat pearls and sassy sandals? It’s the Kentucky Derby Barbie Doll and I want one right now!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

One Comment

  1. Anonymous
    Posted April 3, 2009 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    Lighten up, Francis.