Attention idiots: Turn on your computer monitor if you cannot read this question asked by Meghan McCain’s website:

Which metropolis has the most intelligent residents? The Daily Beast crunched the data on the brainpower of America’s 55 largest cities, from first-to-worst. How did your hometown rank?

Collective brainpower. More than sports prowess or political leanings or wealth or cultural accomplishments, this is the quintessential bragging point of a metropolitan area, the civic version of a playground taunt: I’m smart, you’re not.

Here’s what they had to say about the Louisville Metro combined statistical area’s love of the Jerry Springer: “Louisville performed poorly on almost all measures: Book sales and college-degree rates were especially bad.” Thanks, internet, for totally shitting on us today.

It’s customary in moments of civic insecurity like this to look at the poor dumb fuckers we actually managed to beat, so let’s do that. Who are these fellow-Einsteins? Why, the dumb-as-rocks communities of San Antonio (53rd), Las Vegas (54th), and Fresno (55th). While many would be quick to suggest that maybe Louisville’s educational system, from cradle to cardinal-lined grave, has serious room for improvement, and that we should put our money into a reconfigured school system instead of massive downtown economic projects, we think the appropriate lesson here is simple: Suck it, Fresno!!!!