GOP Death Watch: Special Thunderdome Edition

When beloved U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell and all-time favorite radio personality Rush Limbaugh get busy together, the music they make isn’t exactly beautiful. In fact, the sounds generated from their lovemaking don’t register in the human aural spectrum, but can be compared to the high-frequency squeaking of two giant shithouse rats circling around the same coveted turd.

Specifically, the “turd” in this equation represents a dead health care reform bill. The shithouse rats — Mssrs. McConnell and Limbaugh, if you’re following –  each recommend a different means by which to assassinate this bill: Mitch favors a more procedural approach, and will attempt to crush health care reform under the weight of growing public scrutiny by dragging out the amendments process and forcing everybody to come look at the bill’s dastardly socialist passages, whereas Rush favors stamping his shoe upon the table and screaming haphazardly researched nonsense, Khrushchev-style.

Either way, it’s funny (in a sad way, for the country):

Aides to McConnell called Limbaugh’s show to explain their tactics, but the conservative pundit did not seem to buy it.

“They are up there adding amendments. There’s no question they’re adding amendments to it. McConnell’s office did call here and say that they are opposing this, so I don’t know if adding amendments is a strategery [sic] to bollix it up and slow it down. But I — I disagree. They just need to say no; there’s nothing wrong with saying no to this!” Limbaugh said Tuesday.

Limbaugh took another shot at Senate Republicans on his show Wednesday.

“The Senate Republican leadership strategy here was flawed because it allowed the Democrats to take the offensive, buy time to work out a deal,” Limbaugh said. “I know a disaster when I see it. And I know that it’s gotta be stopped, and whatever parliamentary steps are available to people … should have been taken.” [The Hill]

Now that the blubbering cacodemon has officially deployed his conservative armies against the relatively moderate Senate minority leader, a question lingers: Which shithouse rat will win this fight? Upon whom would you bet money to tear asunder their opponent’s already-terrible reputation? And will the Tea Baggers and RNC Chairman Michael Steele combine, a la Voltron, to referee? No matter which way you slice it, though, it’s still a turd they’re fighting over — and the smell of it on their breath will linger well into 2010 no matter who winds up running the Party That Jesus Lincoln Nixon Reagan Bush Limbaugh/McConnell Built.

2 Comments

  1. bill
    Posted December 13, 2009 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

    A turd is a turd is a turd. This healthcare bill has been appropriately named by LEO!

  2. Puhn Tang
    Posted December 13, 2009 at 6:22 pm | Permalink

    Mitch and Rush, huh? So which one is the gay rat?