If you’re a low-skilled wage slave lucky enough to have a job in this terrible economy, chances are you’ve found yourself thinking, “Golly, if only I could get paid less than what I’m already making…” If you’re a regular viewer of the FOX NEWS, this stroke of genius has already been articulated for you by your corporate overlords. From Rawstory.com: 

WASHINGTON — As the recession continues to weigh heavily on the livelihoods of millions, the Fox News Channel on Monday suggested that lowering the minimum wage could be “better for workers.”

“The minimum wage is kind of like a sacred cow in Washington, with many, many lawmakers thinking it’s a win-win for low-skilled workers,” said Fox anchor Juliet Huddy. “But what if those good intentions backfired?”

What if, indeed.

Huddy and another FOX NEWS “analyst” then continued to cite “landmark studies” that favor lowering the minimum wage because it creates an “arbitrary” pay grade, which in turn stifles the ability of employers to hire more workers than they would otherwise because, basically, they could hire an infinite number of employees is they were slaves.

At no point in the segment did either Huddy or Rosen mention an academic case in favor of the minimum wage — they merely reduced that side of the argument to the nebulous concept of “social justice.”

There are, however, accredited economic cases in favor of a strong minimum wage.

One famous study by David Card and Alan B. Krueger called “Minimum Wages and Employment” illustrated various ways by which increasing the minimum wage could decrease unemployment. Its research methods and conclusions have been endorsed by Nobel Laureates Paul Krugman and Joseph Stiglitz.

Another is a 2004 research paper by the Economic Policy Institute called “No Longer Getting By,” which finds, among other things, that a robust minimum wage helps mitigate poverty and strengthens consumer purchasing power through periods of inflation.

But no, we must not regulate Wall Street or cap CEO bonuses because that, too, would be unAmerican. If you’re interested, here’s a link that describes the gist of the House’s financial regulation bill, H.R. 417 (in glorious PDF format), which includes no language arguing for a “Maximum Wage.” Much of it will be gutted by the Senate anyways, but no matter: it’s probably time for you to get back to work. Mush!