Lunchbox: Don’t Jump

The Incredible Shrinking Humana: The mega-health insurer announced they will be laying off 1,400 employees to ” save money and adjust to a smaller enrollment,” which accounts for roughly 5 percent of Humana’s total workforce. In a statement released this morning, Mayor Jerry Abramson said he talked with his political BFF, Gov. Steve Beshear, and that the two will “work closely with Humana to make sure Louisville gets as many of the 1,100 new positions the company is creating.” Best of luck with all of that.

In Potentially Related News: Someone apparently tried to jump off of the Sherman Minton Bridge this morning. Just saying.

Budgetary Clusterfuck Continues: So here’s a couple of stories about how our state legislature cannot seriously consider elegant and popular solutions to serious problems. House Speaker Greg Stumbo, D-Coal Prestonberg, has proposed a “vaguely worded” budget plan that would somehow cover $400 million of a $1.5 billion shortfall by using federal Medicaid money we don’t even have and laying off 250 non-merit (aka expendable) state employees. The best part? Stumbo hasn’t even spoken to the governor about this Swiss watch of a plan, but at least he’s telling reporters about it so Frankfort can appear slightly more useful than a pope’s pecker.

Girls, Gangs and a Shit Ton of Ratings: Although I’d like to applaud WHAS11 for taking the time to go beyond the superficial and violent trappings of the typical who-shot-who gang story, the sultry call of sweeps season prevents them from probing any deeper than a chemical peel. (Pro tip: Next time you use a gang informant, at least try to alter their voice) At least it was better than WLKY’s repulsive breast rejuvenation story (it’s a two-part series, of course).

Health Care Reform, Version 5.7584H-200B, Chapter Two: President Obama is reportedly going to post his own health care reform bill on the internet, possibly this week, even though Press Secretary Robert Gibbs was being all dickish and evasive about it. The bill would be a marriage of the House and Senate versions, which everyone kind of dislikes at this point, so hopefully he’ll crib some notes from John Conyers’ light-as-a-feather single-payer bill and punk the shit out of everybody.


  1. unclebart
    Posted February 18, 2010 at 10:46 am | Permalink

    Apparently, per The Huffington Post, the public option is back in the mix…IT’s ALIVE!!!!!!!!! ITS’S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (enter Boris Karloff wearing Blue Cross Blue Shield golf windbreaker).

  2. don juan
    Posted February 18, 2010 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    new HUMANA TV ad we just raised this guys rates 3 times this year … this lady got our quote and needed EMS … and we just layed off 750 people so our CEO will be getting an even bigger bonus this years !

    in a side note Jewish is out-sourcing it`s food prep & house keeping people with Aramark … if Aramark`s food is good enough for prisoners is good enough for our patients : ) ….. eat shit has a whole new meaning !

  3. unclebart
    Posted February 19, 2010 at 9:55 am | Permalink

    I think Joe Castro could prepare food in a hospital setting and it would still be inedible. There’s just something about all that dying that ruins my appetite.