Lunchbox: Superbowl HealthDay

Currently, your elected federal leaders are taking a lunch break from a seven hour discussion regarding how best to re-capitulate on health care reform. Most of the morning consisted of various opening remarks and platitudes courtesy of President Obama, Sen. Lamar Alexander, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and someone named Harry Reid. Once they’ve finished eating their organic, biodegradable box lunches, tune into your favorite cable news network to watch even more assholes give their two cents on something that doesn’t affect them directly. (Plus: Mitch McConnell spoke also and you could see his teeth, which are only slightly more gross than the lies that routinely pass through them)

Serious Trust Issues: Yesterday the U.S. House of Representatives voted 406 to 19 in favor of the Health Insurance Industry Fair Competition Act, which would eliminate the complete lack of competition in our supposedly glorious “free market” health care system and hold companies accountable for being dicks — a first in nearly 65 years. Rep. John Yarmuth, D-3, called the legislation “a critical step forward to help create more affordable, high-quality health insurance options for American families in a more competitive marketplace.” Twenty bucks says it gets kneecapped in the Senate.

Really, Family Foundation of Kentucky?: “House Bill 413 – The Public Decency Act: This bill simply requires that women performers at strip bars have at least “something on” – they cannot be totally naked – AND it requires that they cannot be groped by patrons.  Neither of those two standards are particularly onerous…” Why are conservatives obsessed with what women can and cannot freely do with their own bodies? Because they’re just like the Taliban — more concerned with nipples and acts of terror than caring for their constituents.

Loan Sharks to Swim Another Season: Turns out those silly protesters were wasting their time whining about the abuses of the payday loan industry on the steps of the capitol building — Frankfort has decided not to discuss House Bill 381 because (get this) lawmakers want to allow an electronic loan tracking system to take effect first. This is essentially like telling someone, “Hey, you know that law we were working on? The one that will prevent out-of-state companies from anally raping you on a weekly basis? Well, we said ‘fuck that noise’ and decided to play Halo 3 instead.” Way to fail, Frankfort.

The Weather: Is cold.

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