STOP THE RSS FEED! The city of Louisville has placed the Great Emancipator behind bars! Okay, okay: Not exactly bars, per se, but Public Works or some other such misguided municipal entity has seen fit to cordon off the bronze, Ed Hamilton-sculpted masterpiece of America’s 16th president via a chain link fence — which, if you think about it, might be more of a danger to rowdy Thunder-goers than if they were to climb onto him, drunkenly screaming the lyrics to Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.”

If this doesn’t perfectly encapsulate Louisville’s unique brain damage, I don’t know what does.