Well, it’s finally happened. Kentucky Agriculture Commissioner Richie “Mr. Unforgettable Wildcat Big Blue Basketball Man” Farmer and some cranky platitude spewing establishment figure named David Williams have just announced that they will be running as Republicans for lieutenant governor and governor (respectively) in this godforsaken commonwealth we call “Kentucky.”(Did you know? Williams is the Senate President of the Kentucky Senate!)
Ideally, Williams-Farmer will best the Tea Party-backed Republican ticket of Louisville businessman Phil Moffett and Kentucky Rep. Mike Harmon, R-54, in next spring’s primary election, which is slated replace the normal paper/electronic ballot with a University of Kentucky Wildcats-sponsored Scantron test sheet/a lever fitted with a blue “We’re #1!” foam hand.
Speaking of silly gimmicks, their 3 minute-plus campaign “promo video” is about as vapid as you’d expect, and features Williams trying to cultivate some kind of weird gladiatorial outsider meme. Toward the end, it gets even better, with more UK basketball nostalgia than you’d want from a lazy highlight reel running at 4 a.m. on ESPN3.
They’ve also a website that was under construction as of this morning, which featured the following encrypted message:
False alarm: It’s not a message to al-Qaeda sleeper agents; it’s just placeholder text. See?
Barring some unforeseen hiccup in political calculus (i.e., Williams is revealed to be a shoggoth), the primary’s outcome should leave a three-way battle between the aforementioned Mr.Basketball-OtherGuyWilliams ticket, incumbent Democratic Gov. Steve Beshear and his running mate, Louisville mayor Jerry Abramson, and independent candidates Gatewood Galbraith and running mate Dea Riley.
But, yes… expect to see (and hear about) this shit for the next year or so: