NASA discovers arsenic-based life

As the state of Kentucky rushes headfirst into the job-creating sands of the Old Testament, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has some shocking news that suggests Noah forgot to board those pesky arsenic-based alien lifeforms on his ark.

Via Gizmodo:

Hours before their special news conference today, the cat is out of the bag: NASA has discovered a completely new life form that doesn’t share the biological building blocks of anything currently living in planet Earth.

NASA scientist Felisa Wolfe Simon will announce that they have found a bacteria whose DNA is completely alien to what we know today. Instead of using phosphorus, the bacteria uses arsenic. All life on Earth is made of six components: carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus and sulfur. Every being, from the smallest amoeba to the largest whale, share the same life stream. Our DNA blocks are all the same.

But not this one. This one is completely different. We knew that there were bacteria that processed arsenic, but this bacteria—discovered in the poisonous Mono Lake, California—is actually made of arsenic. The phosphorus is absent from its DNA. The implications of this discovery are enormous to our understanding of life itself and the possibility of finding beings in other planets that don’t have to be like planet Earth.

We will update this post after NASA’s 2:00 p.m. press conference is over.

So… what are your thoughts? Does this blow your mind? Or is it further evidence that secular San Francisco liberal values are corrupting life itself?