After being admitted to Petersburg, Kentucky’s Creation Museum as a ticketed, paying customer seeking to witness firsthand the power and glory of their “Date Night,” it didn’t take long for the museum to show its true colors…
Three of us (myself, my girlfriend and our friend Brandon) passed the security checkpoint despite minor scrutiny. We arrived right at 6:00 p.m.; Ken Ham was just beginning his talk of love in the museum’s special effects room, and we were eager to hear it. Brandon’s “date,” Joe of Barefoot & Progressive, was late, and so the solo Brandon was the focus of much interest for the two guards, who carried the air of actual police.
“What kind of car will she be driving?” asked one of the guards. They wanted to know so they could keep strict tabs on who came into the museum.
“Oh,” I said. “His partner’s name is Joe. I think he drives one of those hybrids…”
No sooner had I uttered the word partner that the officer exchanged glances with a fellow guard, whose name badge read D. McDonald.
“Joe?” McDonald asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Is there a problem with that?”
McDonald then informed us that the security staff had had a meeting earlier in the morning in which this very scenario was discussed. “You guys (my girlfiend and I) can go inside,” he told us, “but your friend and Joe cannot.”
When pressed on the issue, McDonald said that an “un-Christian” couple like Joe and Brandon would upset the evening for everyone, and, as proof, the museum’s website explicitly stated that couples like Joe and Brandon would not be allowed entry. (For the record, it does not)
I told McDonald that it wasn’t very Christian to exclude people, to which he rhetorically asked ”How exactly is it Christian to be gay?”
Some attempts at backtracking were made: I said there had been a misunderstanding; that I didn’t say” partner” and meant that Joe and Brandon’s girlfriends had cancelled and that, ha ha, neither Joe nor Brandon was gay, but no dice: Just the suspicion of being gay was grounds enough to refuse paying customers access to Ham’s magical speech on biblical incest and how you should love your wife for who she is because, in time, she’ll be as ugly as her mother.
Needless to say, the hypocrisy made it somewhat difficult to eat the mango-glazed chicken, courtesy of Christian catering company Funky’s.
In fact, the hypocrisy makes it somewhat difficult to fathom that two guys holding hands are frowned upon, but murderers? I’ll let Joe tell you:
… the great irony is that while two men were not allowed to attend the Creation Museum last night, guess who they are welcoming with open arms today? None other than Jeffrey Bornhoeft, a lovely fellow making his first trip out of Ohio since the time that he shot his ex-wife’s husband three times in the head 11 years ago. Jeffrey is OK though, because he’s totally not into dudes.
My girlfriend, who purchased the tickets, has already filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, which will get plenty of complaints once Ham’s Ark Encounter starts violating equal-opportunity laws.