As the already swollen Ohio River threatens more Metro Louisville coastline residents and businesses with the prospect of higher flood levels (this weekend it’s expected to reach 28 feet), The Courier-Journal wants you to know that this will in no way, shape or form endanger tomorrow night’s Lady Gaga concert at the KFC Yum! Center because the fate of our local economy sorely depends upon her flame-shooting breasts and catchy dance music.

Amanda Storment, a spokeswoman for the Kentucky State Fair Board, said the flooding is not expected to affect parking at the arena’s parking garage and would have to rise 8 or 9 more feet for it to reach an arena gate used by large vehicles or buses and another 25 feet to affect events.

The river level is forecast to reach about 28 feet on the upper gauge at McAlpine Locks and Dam by late Saturday evening or early Sunday morning, (MSD’s Bud) Schardein said, but that level “shouldn’t have a great deal more effect than what you see now,” he added.MSD will implement street closings at Second Street and Bingham Way downtown by Sunday, in case of a spike in the river level, but Schardein said the Third Street ramp from Interstate 64 should remain open through the weekend.

Just don’t eat any of the washed-up transsexual fish and you should have a fun time.