Sen. Rand Paul may despise how the 1964 Civil Rights Act stole the Liberty of lunch counter owners in the South, but he is now the Martin Luther King of protecting your Liberty Junk from possibly being touched by a TSA worker.

In This-Was-Totally-Bound-to-Happen News:

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul was detained Monday by the Transportation Security Administration in Nashville, Tenn., after refusing a full-body pat-down, POLITICO has confirmed.

“I spoke with him five minutes ago, and he was being detained indefinitely,” says Paul spokeswoman Moira Bagley. “The image scan went off; he refused patdown.”

Now there is a man who’s not going to let some big government busybody put his damned dirty hands on him and infect him with tyranny.

We can only hope that he had paper and pen in his detention cell, so we’ll get to read our generation’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”

You might be tempted to jump to Rand Paul’s defense, but early reports leaking from the TSA reveal that Rand was smuggling several laser pointers and gold bars in his pants.

Expect Rand Paul to be on every Fox News and conservative radio show on earth nonstop over the next week. That man knew exactly what he was doing. While we poke fun at Rand Paul constantly, we also give credit where credit is due. The man is a first class attention whore, and we salute you, sir.

UPDATE: In totally predictable news, the fascist stormtroopers at the TSA are denying that Rand Paul was even detained.

As if Sen. Rand Paul would ever exaggerate the facts in order to get attention and play himself up as a martyr! That’ll be the day!

Here’s the TSA response:

“The passenger was not detained at any point. The passenger triggered an alarm during routine airport screening and refused to complete the screening process in order to resolve the issue. Passengers, as in this case, who refuse to comply with security procedures are denied access to the secure gate area. He was escorted out of the screening area by local law enforcement.

The passenger was screened by millimeter wave imaging technology using automated target recognition. This technology uses the same generic image for all passengers to further protect passengers privacy. When an alarm occurs a yellow box indicates where an anomaly is. A targeted pat down is used to resolve the alarm.”

Baloney! Liberty Christ went to jail for our sins and to protect the Liberty Junk of every white non-muslim-looking American from sea to shining sea!

Alex Jones is currently on the case, and will expose these viscous lies that the liberal mainstream media is sure to sweep under the rug.

Also, someone just told me that the fact that he was flying to an anti-abortion conference in DC (good people who know that the federal government forcing its way into your doctor’s office to tell you what procedures you can and can’t get, and also forcing women who want an abortion to get a mandatory sonogram against their will) is “ironic”.

I don’t get it…