Rand Paul: “The glitch set me up!” (VIDEO)

We really do miss the pre-Maddow-debacle Rand Paul.

He had the perfect mix of extreme paranoia and unfiltered stream-of-consciousness speech that made him pure entertainment to watch, just like his dad and their one-time media guru, Alex Jones.

But then the infamous “Rachel Maddow” appearance happened, followed directly by his bizarre defense of BP on ABC. After that, Mitch McConnell forced him to cancel his “Meet the Press” appearance and had a sit-down heart-to-heart about The Way it Was Going to Be from now on. Rand Paul reined himself in from that point on in the campaign, not straying too far into paranoid conspiracy theories and strange, out-of-touch libertarian philosophy. This rest is history, as he won easily and has followed as Mitch’s faithful grasshopper ever since.

Sure, he’s had his moments when he reverts back to his old self (blaming a bureaucrat for his plugged toilet, comparing universal health care to armed SWAT teams breaking into doctors’ houses and conscripting them into slavery), but considering how much he’s in he media, they’ve been few and far between.

But the most recent statements to come out of his exaggerated “detainment” by the TSA? Oh, this is vintage Rand:

The difference between those two scans — one triggering an alarm and one not — will lead to a formal Senate inquiry, Paul (who has been a strong critic of the TSA’s pat down policy) told me in the airport.

Paul questioned why the machine would go off once and then not a second time. He said he suspects the equipment is rigged to set off false positives that then allow the TSA to conduct random pat downs without having to pull a passenger aside.

“I think mine was probably random, I doubt I was picked on,” he said. “But I would like to know: Does the screener have the ability to push the button and randomly get someone to set off a screener?”


I asked him if he thought the machine had been geared by TSA not to go off when he went through the second time.

“I don’t know that,” he said.

You know he can’t come right out and say it, that would be pure insanity. But he’ll be damned if he’s going to rule it out.

It’s either:

A) A devious plot by the TSA to pick on Rand and his father for being vocal critics of their security techniques.


B) Lady/Sir got a look at Randy and wanted to feel her/him some of that. Because they’re all just sick and perverted like that.

The truth is out there. First they came for Ron, then they came for Rand. Because Liberty is what they feared the most. And they nasty like that.

Alex Jones will break this conspiracy wide open in a matter of hours, don’t worry.

UPDATE: Here’s Rand Paul, SHOCKINGLY, going on national TV as soon as he got off the plane in DC today. As you can see, Rand Paul has secret information that only he and two other people know about how scanners really work, but this information is too important to reveal to commoners like us, so an important person like Rand Paul must keep it to himself. Anyway, he’s on to them.

One Comment

  1. kentondem
    Posted January 23, 2012 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    The only thing missing was James O’Keefe directing the film.

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