Papa John Schnatter shows off “core values” in Romney campaign pitch

Papa John’s owner John Schnatter — otherwise known as the only Republican in Louisville crazy enough to support Brooks Wicker’s Congressional campaign — gave his best Herman Cain impersonation on a recent shareholders conference call.

Schnatter, who held a fundraiser in his home for Mitt Romney himself in April, assured his shareholders that he wouldn’t let the dreaded Obamacare affect them, but would instead plunder the wallets of Obama’s weary, yet plump, subjects:

On a conference call last week, CEO and founder John Schnatter (a Mitt Romney supporter and fundraiser) said the health care law’s changes — set to go into effect in 2014 — will result in higher costs for the company — which they vowed to pass onto consumers.

“Our best estimate is that the Obamacare will cost 11 to 14 cents per pizza, or 15 to 20 cents per order from a corporate basis,” Schnatter said.

“We’re not supportive of Obamacare, like most businesses in our industry. But our business model and unit economics are about as ideal as you can get for a food company to absorb Obamacare,” he said.

“If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders best interests,” Schnatter vowed.

Obviously, the thought of paying 13 cents more for a bland pizza so that thousands of cooks and drivers can pay for medical care without going into bankruptcy sounds like something straight out of Stalin’s Soviet Union. But at least there were no shareholders harmed in this gangland (Chicago!) heist.

Anyway, we thought it might be useful to check out Papa John’s “core values” on their website, and see how this little political song and dance jives with them.

Focus
We must keep The Main Thing, The Main Thing. We will consistently deliver a traditional Papa John’s superior-quality pizza.

Meh.

Accountability
We do what we say we are going to do when we say we are going to do it. We earn the right to hold others to a higher level of accountability by being accountable to ourselves, our customers and our business partners.

But John is more accountable to some than others. Don’t let “business partners” being listed last fool you.

Superiority
Our customer satisfaction must be consistent, quantifiable and demonstrable. At Papa John’s we expect excellence – the “best in its class” in everything we do.

As hard as providing “excellent” insurance to his employees is for John, maybe this tyrannical power grab can help our country on the path to “superiority” in a few areas where we are… well, less than superior:

US life expectancy- 51st
US infant mortality- 41st

P.A.P.A.
People Are Priority Always. Our success depends upon our ability, as a team, to work together to achieve our goals and expectations.

Unfortunately, Big Brother is forcing their own “goals” and “expectations” of a labor force that is healthy and not in debt for the rest of their life because they can’t pay back their medical bills, ultimately sticking us with the bill. (See: Stalin)

Our goal, Mr. Obama, is to spend $14 on our XL Buffalo Chicken pizza, not $14.12. It’s a little thing called “Liberty.”

Attitude
If you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right! The difference between winners and losers is a positive mental attitude. Our attitude is a reflection of what we value: successful team members must be upbeat, proactive and passionate about everything they do.

Successful team members also must have… yeah, sure, the whole “health” thing, whatever.

But speaking of a can do attitude, check out the Big Dog on the block in obesity delivery devices, McDonald’s:

Retailers and restaurants have made a big deal about Obamacare.

*****

But for fast food titan McDonald’s, Obamacare is no worse than a swing in commodity costs.

*****

“I will tell you that we are significantly increasing now that the Supreme Court has ruled increasing our conversation and disclosures with franchisees around what does this mean for brand McDonald’s. So that they can be as educated as possible around what’s happening, so that they can start to anticipate and make any changes if they have to try to minimize the impact of this.

“On just a dollar basis that $10,000 to $30,000, we have the years like last year where commodity cost increases were even greater than that. So while it is a significant item and it’s gaining a lot of attention as the [profit and loss] item we have managed through items of this magnitude in the past. and I’m hopeful we can do that in future.”

I tell you, it’s almost like they’re not interested in whining about pocket change in order to score political points, but rather focusing (See: core value #1) on The Main Thing: Making boatloads of money stuffing people’s faces.

Constant Improvement
We never stop trying to surpass our previous best. We constantly “Raise the Bar.” No matter how good we are, we will always get better.

Now this is where John seems to be taking his core values to heart. We can always do better and raise that bar. Or in the case of Mitt Romney’s tax rate for people like John Schnatter, who made $2.75 million last year, lower that bar so you can make hundreds of thousands of dollars more to spend on your life of luxury.

But no, Obama and his nanny state minions won’t have that. What kind of core values do we have in this country when we must spend 11 cents more on pizza and rob good men like Schnatter of their hard earned money, just so millions of people can have quality, affordable health care.

It’s downright foreign.

9 Comments

  1. Linda
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm | Permalink

    John Schnatter makes me sick. I really can’t get a handle on these people. Their love of money is the driving force in their life. Sad and sick.

  2. kilowat
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    I’ve never had a Papa Johns bland pizza never will now! I thought this was just a copy of Romneycare

  3. Kathy Little
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    This is all about greed, the “love” of money. Sick, John, so sick. Take care of your employees, if you have to pass it on to consumers that purchase your pizzas, then do what you have to. I don’t know how you folks sleep. Do you not have a moral conscience?

  4. Martin
    Posted August 7, 2012 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

    My 13-y-o daughters are upset with me because I told them after the Mitt fundraiser, I will not buy Papa John’s pizza for them anymore.

  5. Nick Owens
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 2:09 am | Permalink

    the owner of papalino’s was just given a green light by providence to divide, conquer, and ruthlessly pillage the remains of his competition like a berzerker viking warlord.

  6. Buffy Singleton
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    “Nobody does what Papa John’s does. . . ” Thank God!!! He’s nothing but a rich punk!

  7. Philip DeLaney
    Posted August 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    I suspect that John’s attitude drives from the observation that his employees are little more than a commodity to him as well – a cost to be controlled and if one gets sick, there will alway be plenty more where that sick one came from. So much easier to dump the sick ones than to treat them like human beings…

  8. Employee of the month
    Posted July 26, 2013 at 6:33 pm | Permalink

    Don’t forget minimum wage for starting managers. Reminded that there is an army of people in line to replace you. Way to go P.A.P.A. Also if you mess up a pizza, you’re supposed to throw it on the floor and smell it while you work. Sorry homeless people.

  9. DAMIER ダミエ
    Posted December 5, 2013 at 7:55 am | Permalink

    評価の高い 属性 センター シャーリングとフライ 欠席
    裾。 脇 から離れて 靴、バッグ は 要因 は ギャル
    だけ できません 表示 を取得する 十分な の。 タグです 今でも 開発 そのニューアクア 今でも プッシュ、制限。 バッグ を提供しています は ヴィンテージ タッチ
    あなたの服に。

2 Trackbacks

  1. By Colbert roasts Papa John’s – FatLip on August 9, 2012 at 9:36 am

    [...] night, Stephen Colbert opined about the tragedy of Papa John Schnatter having to raise the price of pizzas 11 to 14 cents, just so millions of Americans could get “affordable and quality health [...]

  2. [...] trying to scare people into voting for Mitt Romney lest the price of his pizzas command an extra “11-14 cents” due to President [...]

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