Mitch McConnell’s existential crisis

These are truly strange and confusing times for Mitch McConnell.

Not only does Mitch have to pretend that he doesn’t despise the Tea Partiers out of fear for his own political extinction in Kentucky, last week on his home turf — the Senate floor — he looked more like a confused old man than the diabolical master of parliamentarian maneuvering. Yes, McConnell made Senate history by filibustering his own bill to expedite raising the debt ceiling, which contained an idea the he himself came up with last year, before it was reckless tyranny requiring 60 votes.

The LOLs still haven’t subsided from McConnell’s humiliation, as Jon Stewart finally had the opportunity to get in his pot shots last night:

But McConnell’s confusion did not end with his public display of filibusterbating last Thursday, as the following night his campaign sent out an email trying to… yes, fundraise off of the fact that he filibustered his own bill:

The Obama Administration actually asked for a permanent, unlimited borrowing limit in addition to their huge tax hike!

To my great surprise, yesterday President Obama’s allies in the Senate said they would happily pass the unlimited debt bill.

I enthusiastically blocked their attempt but I was stunned at my colleagues’ willingness to give President Obama that kind of power to put American taxpayers in debt even further to countries like China.

Although I was able to stop them yesterday, they will be back.

Basically, just change “their” to “my” and “them” to “myself,” and Mitch technically didn’t fib at all there.

But here’s the true jaw-dropper from his fundraising email, which makes us seriously wonder whether Mitch McConnell is having a full-blown existential breakdown:

The White House is busily lining up Wall Street special interest groups to pressure my colleagues in the Senate. I need your help. Can I count on your support to fight against President Obama’s plan for unlimited debt?

That’s right, Mitch McConnell is fighting for the little guys against the big bad Wall Street fat cats.

This is the same man who is willing to let tax rates go up for 98 percent of Americans if any of the top 2 percentile have their tax rates go up by any amount. This is the same man that fought tooth and nail against Wall Street reform in 2010. This is the same man who called the Wall Street bailout that he helped engineer in 2008 one of his “finest moments” in the Senate. This is the same man who might one day have a wing of the Wall Street exchange named after him.

If you Google “Mitch McConnell” and “class warfare” — perhaps his most beloved insult to hurl at those who dare to not favor giving the rich whatever they want — you get over 363,000 results. On Nexis you get 1,085.

But now Mitch is in the Occupy drum circle, bemoaning those dastardly capitalists who are out to get you.

If you’re guessing where that line comes from, I suggest you ask the McConnell campaign’s internal pollster… or the people who have abducted him.

And while McConnell is attacking the “job creators” of Wall Street, he is absolutely nowhere to be found in the actual negotiations to find a solution to the so-called “fiscal cliff.” The man who likes to fancy himself as one of the most powerful people in Washington is AWOL, busy raising reelection campaign money off of filibustering his own idea and being completely irrelevant.

Who is Mitch McConnell, and why exactly is he here? These are very confusing questions, nowadays…

2 Comments

  1. Steve Magruder
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 11:42 am | Permalink

    I continue to ask the question…

    Can anyone name one positive thing Mitch McConnell has done for the People of the Commonwealth of Kentucky? Just one thing? (besides laughter)

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    Posted December 3, 2013 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

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