A new USA Today/Gallup poll has confirmed what Republicans do not want you to know, which is that a majority of Americans (49 percent) believe that Sunday’s passage of health care reform legislation was “a good thing” as opposed to “a very bad, evil and overtly communistic plot to rape unborn children and murder grandparents” (40 percent). And all of this despite tea party fear-mongering and a national collective IQ hovering somewhere between a bug zapper and a welcome mat.

What’s more, the poll includes some numbers that already spell doom for Republicans at a time when the vast majority of the reform legislation’s benefits haven’t even kicked in yet. Some 32 percent of congressional Democrats are viewed favorably for their work on the health care bill, compared to 32 percent who do not — in sum, a wash for the Obama team. Republicans, however, have much more to worry about, as just 26 percent of the 1,005 adults polled think that the GOP done real good, whereas a higher percentage (34 percent) think their performance on the issue has been poor.

Translation: Once small businesses and “reg’lar folk” begin receiving tax credits and lowered premiums afforded them by the admittedly imperfect legislation, the GOP Death Watch will recommence in earnest. It’ll mean more money in the pockets of middle- and working-class voters, because once they’ve seen how well this promised change works out for them — a la the American public’s post-op reaction to Medicare and Social Security — they’ll decapitate anyone who tries to take it away from them, even though just a couple weeks ago they didn’t want it, but whatever. Gotta love this country.

Specifically, the “turd” in this equation represents a dead health care reform bill. The shithouse rats — Mssrs. McConnell and Limbaugh, if you’re following –  each recommend a different means by which to assassinate this bill: Mitch favors a more procedural approach, and will attempt to crush health care reform under the weight of growing public scrutiny by dragging out the amendments process and forcing everybody to come look at the bill’s dastardly socialist passages, whereas Rush favors stamping his shoe upon the table and screaming haphazardly researched nonsense, Khrushchev-style.

Either way, it’s funny (in a sad way, for the country):

Aides to McConnell called Limbaugh’s show to explain their tactics, but the conservative pundit did not seem to buy it.

“They are up there adding amendments. There’s no question they’re adding amendments to it. McConnell’s office did call here and say that they are opposing this, so I don’t know if adding amendments is a strategery [sic] to bollix it up and slow it down. But I — I disagree. They just need to say no; there’s nothing wrong with saying no to this!” Limbaugh said Tuesday.

Limbaugh took another shot at Senate Republicans on his show Wednesday.

“The Senate Republican leadership strategy here was flawed because it allowed the Democrats to take the offensive, buy time to work out a deal,” Limbaugh said. “I know a disaster when I see it. And I know that it’s gotta be stopped, and whatever parliamentary steps are available to people … should have been taken.” [The Hill]

Now that the blubbering cacodemon has officially deployed his conservative armies against the relatively moderate Senate minority leader, a question lingers: Which shithouse rat will win this fight? Upon whom would you bet money to tear asunder their opponent’s already-terrible reputation? And will the Tea Baggers and RNC Chairman Michael Steele combine, a la Voltron, to referee? No matter which way you slice it, though, it’s still a turd they’re fighting over — and the smell of it on their breath will linger well into 2010 no matter who winds up running the Party That Jesus Lincoln Nixon Reagan Bush Limbaugh/McConnell Built.

As you watch Vitter sqiurm his way through this, keep in mind that both of Kentucky’s senators — Jim “Bats!” Bunning and Mitch “Beaker” McConnell — were among the 30 “no” votes:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6YZ1wP1978[/youtube]

Only 20 percent of adults identify themselves as Republicans, little changed in recent months, but still the lowest single number in Post-ABC polls since 1983. Political independents continue to make up the largest group, at 42 percent of respondents; 33 percent call themselves Democrats.

The wide gap in partisan leanings and the lack of confidence in the GOP carries into early assessments of the November 2010 midterm elections: Fifty-one percent say they would back the Democratic candidate in their congressional district if the elections were held now, while 39 percent would vote for the Republican. Independents split 45 percent for the Democrat, 41 percent for the Republican.

The poll also indicates strong public support for a public option (57 percent), even though approval of Obama’s health care initiatives has fallen by 15 points since mid-September.

… [T]here’s a real split on the right between elected officials, particularly in the Senate, who have jobs to keep, and radical figureheads in the conservative movement who want to push the Republican party closer to the fringe. Sotomayor’s nomination has unveiled, and widened, that divide. On one side of it, are conservative Republicans like Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX). And on the other, are people like G. Gordon Liddy, who took to the radio yesterday with this sentiment, “Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when [Sotomayor]‘s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.” [via TPMDC]

Oh no he didn’t! The funny part? Liddy and his ilk had no problem with Justice Samuel Alito’s menstrually-rooted pangs of “empathy” when that crazy eyetalian started talking about fuggetaboutits or canoli or something.

Right. So primordial Republican throwback Newt “My Sister’s Gay” Gingrich is positioning himself to be some sort of GOP oracle and potential 2012 presidential candidate. How can we tell? If The New York Times Magazine runs a cover story saying Gingrich is important because he’s one of the Right’s few think tank-grade Pols whose brain has retained not only marginal but consistent functionality, then you know it must be true.

In his latest act, Gingrich has discovered something called “The Twitter.” He sees The Twitter as good, and  even envisions The Twitter’s importance to the coming third party revolution, which will hopefully not involve Ralph Nader (but maybe Ron Paul).

Historically speaking, however, the fat, philandering hypocrite may actually be onto something.

Viable third parties are a rarity in American electoral politics for a host of reasons, but if one examines the instances in which third parties/coalition governments have formed, then the first thing we can deduce is that we are long overdue for one.

Prior to Ross Perot, the United States has seen its share of strong third parties. The GOP itself formed out of the chaos that followed the destruction of the Whigs (slavery was their point of contention, FYI), along with the ‘Know Nothings,’ many of whom still comprise the lion’s share of seats within the Kentucky State legislature. Hoosier Eugene V. Debs led a sustained and influential string of candidacies under the National Socialist Party. And former President/Total Diva Teddy Roosevelt created the reform-minded Bull Moose Party after losing the Republican nomination to William “Tubs” Taft, and won nearly 30% of the popular vote in the ensuing 1912 election.

While we’ve been currently weened on the likes of the Green Party, the Libertarian Party, and the totally awesome “fusion” Working Families Party, what Gingrich is predicting is something more in line with a Bull Moose-type schism.

Because it’s one thing to have a handful of whackos dancing around a golden calf-issue like tree’s rights or pro-NAMBLA legislation and striking a minor chord in the population-at-large. It’s quite another thing to have tens of millions of whackos who can’t reconcile the schizophrenic ideologies that Sarah Palin and David Brooks offer under the same tarnished banner.

As a result, the ubiquitous meme of GOP bankrupcy has resulted in stupendously dumb party initiatives — Saying ‘No’ to everything; hiring a third-grader to write their numbers-challenged budget; apologizing like insecure domestic abuse victims to He Who Shall Not Be Named every time one of their testicles decides to drop — in other words, they’ve yet to appear to the American people as anything other than the lazy, incompetent, and generally unpleasant political creatures that they are and will continue to suffer for it.

And all it will take is one electorially viable piggy to buck the trend and lead the GOP back from the abbatoir. History shows us that this is inevitable, with or without The Twitter, with or without The Newt; a third party is coming, but not yet. We still have to wait for The New York Times Magazine to tell us that Obama’s socialist utopia is technically possible. Fingers crossed, comrades!