All hail your new Kentucky senator, Rand Paul, aka The Man Who Would Be Jim Bunning.

The Bowling Green ophthalmologist and Tea Party faux-messiah has bested  his Democratic opponent, Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway.

Conway offered his congratulations from his loser’s party, held at Louisville’s downtown Marriott hotel, where the mood suggests a Cure album is going to be played at any moment…

“Give yourselves a hand; you all are wonderful,” Conway said. ” Friends, I keep a plaque on my desk that says that ‘ the joy is in the journey,’ and … what a journey I’ve had.”

Conway then talked about paraplegic miners, impoverished hardware store owners, UK students who can’t afford student loans, and other demographics ostensibly in need of a Democrat’s loving touch.

“To the people of my beloved Commonwealth, you’ve opened your homes, your hearts,” Conway said, “and Elizabeth and I love you for it.”

“I called Rand Paul just a few moments ago,” Conway continued. “He is our senator-elect, and I think we all ought to wish him well.”

Whatever: Dude blamed it on Citizens United money, which did raise substantially more for Paul.

In case you’re just now tuning in: Paul has attracted the attention of bloggers, national journalists and anyone remotely interested in American politics/cognitive dissonance since announcing his candidacy in August 2009, due in no small part to Paul’s Tea Party-backed libertarian-Objectivist beliefs, which range from eliminating the Department of Education and replacing the federal income tax with a corporate fiat sales tax to legalizing drugs and whatever else Paul might’ve learned from reading the Cliff’s Notes version of “Atlas Shrugged.”

No matter: Paul has capitulated on virtually all of that libertarian shit in lieu of becoming a Proper Republican after winning the May primary, wherein Paul beat the tar out of Kentucky Secretary of State Trey Grayson, the hand-picked establishment scion of U.S. Senate Minority Leader Mitch “My Face Scares Small Children” McConnell.

The resulting general election campaign proved to be an uphill battle for Conway, who remained largely behind in poll after poll despite cutting ads criticizing Paul for being a weird, Bible-mocking, misogynistic asshole in college; running to the right; flip flopping on cap-and-trade, support for the Bush tax cuts and shady utility-company money; and generally pretending to be a bizarro, progressive-version of failed Democratic primary candidate and outgoing Kentucky Lt. Governor Daniel Mongiardo in a cynical effort to win over Kentucky’s Blue Dog-minded rural constituencies at the expense of support from an energized liberal base.

Now comes the part where Paul, who has often questioned the validity of the senate to accomplish/be responsible for anything, will actually accomplish/claim responsibility for anything while he himself becomes a member of the senate. Sheeeeiit, self-disinterest works just fine for James Bunning, thank you very much!

And in related news, the moon has turned blood red.

Check back later for the full post-mortem…

And the thing is — the ad is pretty much spot on.

From the Lexington Herald-Leader:

The national GOP ad notes that Conway said in an August interview with CN/2 Politics tax cuts enacted in former President George W. Bush’s administration “ought to be extended for some period of time.”

But the ad cites Conway’s interview with The Courier-Journal editorial board last April in which he said he would favor letting expire probably the majority of the Bush tax cuts.

The Conway campaign says their candidate was in favor of the Bush tax cuts when they were passed, but as blogger Jake Payne over at PageOne Kentucky points out, these glaring obfuscations aren’t good for Conway in his bid against Republican nominee (Tea Party messiah) Rand Paul.

The state’s largest providers of natural gas and electricity have filed formal cases with the Kentucky Public Service Commission for the rate hike, but the attorney general believes that request should be suspended until the companies are sold.

The Paul campaign took the opportunity to slam Conway for being backed by utility companies while regulating them.

From DrRandPaul:

That was a very funny press conference our opponent had this morning. He’s now going to discontinue his practice of taking tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from the people he helps regulate. That’s the difference between a career politician and most Americans — most of us would have known not to take the money in the first place.

During the hotly contested Democratic primary, Conway’s chief rival, Lt. Gov. Daniel Mongiardo, brought similar criticisms to the campaign’s forefront. In May, Mongiardo filed an ethics complaint against Conway, claiming he “violated the public trust” and was receiving kickbacks for accepting campaign contributions from utility companies while approving millions in rate hikes.

It was an accusation the Conway campaign vehemently denied, pointing out his record as attorney general saved consumers more than $100 million from proposed hikes.

However, Conway did receive $10,000 in campaign contributions from Atmos Energy, a Texas-based natural gas company that serves parts of western and central Kentucky. And the attorney general’s staff was involved in negotiations with the company over a proposed $5.9 million rate increase.

Last week, WHAS-11 television reported Atmos Energy was awarded a 3 percent rate increase by the service commission.

The Conway campaign has yet to respond to our request for comment.

“We’re are looking at between 22 and 25 percent turnout in Jefferson County right now,” says Nore Ghibaudy, a spokesman for the Jefferson County Clerk’s office. “There’s a higher turnout than usual due in part to the mayor’s race, particularly in the East End than in the previous primary. It really depends on what part of the city that you’re in.”

From The C-J:

This newspaper cannot recommend either of this year’s principal candidates to Republican voters. But we hope that members of the GOP with some degree of perspective will ponder the direction in which their party is moving — and vow to do something to put it back on a constructive course.

Meanwhile, the whirlwind around Pauls’ campaign continues to gain national and international attention for the rising temeperature of the Tea Party movement.

h/t The Edit:

BBC World News America recently produced this story on the Republican primary for the U.S. Senate, Rand Paul and the significance of his success.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ESYcaV0ZDE[/youtube]

As Kentucky’s Secretary of State, you serve as the chairman of the Board of Elections, which is charged with oversight of elections within the Commonwealth.   Because of this, it is clear that a conflict exists between your role as Secretary of State and your role as candidate for office in this election.
I believe your service on the Board of Elections presents a conflict of interest with respect to an election in which you are a candidate.  As I read the law (KRS 11A.020), you are prohibited from involvement in matters which present a substantial conflict of interest between your public duty and your personal interest.

…

This outrageous use of a public office to organize a political stunt indicates to me that you need to immediately step aside as supervisor of this election and allow appointment of a nonpartisan civil servant to handle this important task.”

Which sounds all well and good, except for a couple of things:

1. Paul has read this law, KRS 11A.020, incorrectly. Since the only role that Grayson (and his office) serves re: his own election is to validate it officially — and not tabulate every vote, which is the purview of respective county clerks offices — the assertion is more than a little off base.

2. When asked about the validity of the assertions, the secretary of state’s office more or less laughed them off, adding that even when incumbent county clerks run for office they’re not required to “step aside.” Of course you could charge them of being in league with Grayson, which would make you a little paranoid and, therefore, probably a Paul supporter anyway.

It seems that the Paul camp is merely trying to rile up his neoconservative, objectivist base with run-of-the-mill horse-swill populism that tries to paint his opponent and the system in which his opponent operates as corrupt. And if that’s the case, aren’t there plenty of other targets worthy of Paul’s badly calibrated crosshairs?

Here’s the full text from the Mongiardo camp’s “rebuttal”…

Conway Engaged in “Extreme Makeover”

During a press conference this morning at the state capitol, Jack Conway attempted to reinvent himself as an “independent Democrat” when over the past year Conway has repeatedly promoted himself as the “preferred candidate of the national Democratic Party.”

Kim Geveden, spokesman for Democratic Lt. Governor Daniel Mongiardo’s U.S. Senate Campaign called Conway’s performance, “a cynical attempt to reinvent himself.”

Geveden said, “Jack Conway has no shame.  For the last year Jack has promoted himself as ‘the candidate preferred by the National Democratic Party.’  He has even printed fundraising invitations touting ‘National Congressional leaders’ as his special guests.  Now – he suddenly appears before reporters this morning and claims he is an ‘independent-minded’ Democrat who will take on Washington’s establishment insiders.  Kentucky voters won’t be fooled by Jack Conway’s extreme political makeover.”

“Jack Conway maybe a smooth talking politician, but Democratic voters deserve a candidate who gives straight answers, not someone who reinvents himself because of the changing political winds,” said Geveden.

Shame… cynical… smooth talking… hmmm… I get what they’re insinuating, but the logic seems a little lacking. Trying to align Mongiardo, the Lt. Governor, with a kind of outsider/true-independent meme seems a little far-reaching, but I digress. You’d just think that with that kind of mouth he would’ve opted for the simple but elegant pigfucker-route. Oh well.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I64-NEnHSrc&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

(tip o’ the hat to Jake @ PageOne)

But this will not stop Paul, who also badly wants to destroy fellow Republican senatorial candidate Trey “Lil’ Mitch” Grayson, and therefore must assert himself as the biggest friend to rural economy-destroying fossil fuels this world has ever seen. From an email statement courtesy of Paul’s campaign:

Rand Paul believes that the people and their representatives should determine policy not unelected bureaucrats. Dr. Paul opposes the Obama administrations decision to unilaterally impose new mandates that could further damage the coal industry.

The Republican philosophy has always been that local control is better than federal control. Dr. Paul believes that the people of Kentucky, especially eastern KY should decide what type of regulations are necessary not some bureaucrats in Washington.

If elected, Dr. Paul will be a loud voice against over-reaching by federal regulatory agencies.

While there could be some debate as to whether the “Republican philosophy” actually favors local control over private control is another matter. Bottom line: Washington bureaucrats = bad, turning the world into an apocalyptic cinder for immediate political gain = good.